


A Brand New Heart

by lakemonsters



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: M/M, moving forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1272610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lakemonsters/pseuds/lakemonsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Madara would never say that he loved Reiko, but what is unspoken is more honest than what can ever be said. So when he stares at a sleeping Takashi, he tells himself that this is nothing but biology talking. That they look alike but are different people. That Takashi is Takashi; Reiko is Reiko. And that he only thinks Takashi is attractive because he is the spitting image of Reiko. He tells himself this over and over and over convinced that one day he will believe it.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Brand New Heart

There are nights when Takashi is so tired that he falls into bed without changing from his uniform. It’s because he relentlessly, selflessly helps spirits who need him. Madara perpetually opposes him when it comes to this matter – but at the end of the day it’s Takashi’s decision and he – he’s just a bodyguard. 

Sometimes, he also acts as the most comfortable blanket that the demon world can offer. Because there are times when Takashi’s too cold and he can only find warmth in the flawlessly white fur of Madara’s original form. On nights like these, the elegant demon wishes to be just as tired as Takashi so that they can both sleep. Madara hates thinking too much, he despises recollections and thinking back and feeling. A yokai is all about instinct. There is no thought behind it, all other things are foreign to him.

Tonight, he isn’t exhausted, but Takashi is and he needs Madara. The young man snuggles to the yokai’s leg and finds the fuzzy fur comfortable. He smiles as he slumbers. Madara on the other hand watches him, stares at him intently and tells himself that Reiko is no longer around. That Reiko left all her yokai friends, she left Madara the day she died. And there is profound sadness behind this experience, just like humans, demons can get attached to certain things and people. The next step, as part of the normal progression would come as no surprise.

Madara would never say that he loved Reiko, but what is unspoken is more honest than what can ever be said. So when he stares at a sleeping Takashi, he tells himself that this is nothing but biology talking. That they look alike but are different people. That Takashi is Takashi; Reiko is Reiko. And that he only thinks Takashi is attractive because he is the spitting image of Reiko. He tells himself this over and over and over convinced that one day he will believe it.

Pulled out of his revelry when Natsume moves and buries himself deeper in the comfort of Madara’s fur and his own blanket. Madara subconsciously moves with him and the next thing he knows is that he’s no longer in his yokai form. In human form he’s still tall, elegant and most of all very warm. In human form, Takashi is no longer snuggling his leg but his arm. Madara knows that the young man would not know the difference – because he is just that tired. And so, for now he can stay this way.

He moves to spoon the young man and hold him close, his long white hair tickling Takashi’s pale cheek. You are not Reiko… he says to himself before clutching Takashi closer. He is not Reiko and that’s perfectly okay. Madara just has to accept that fact one day.

*

There are nights when Takashi looks like he’s too tired to move but that doesn’t mean that he’s dead to everything around him. There are nights when he realizes that the warmth enveloping him has changed in some way and in the haze of sleep he still knows the difference between a Madara in yokai and a Madara in human form. Takashi has not seen Madara in human form, just that strong white arm he wakes up to time and again. He believes that one day, when Madara’s ready, then he’ll be privy to all sides of him. 

Til then Takashi knows that this is enough.

*

Madara wakes up in the wee small hours of morning and decides to change form knowing that a few minutes later, Takashi will too – either to go down the kitchen for snacks and water or to change to his pajamas. Madara is in his lucky cat form when Takashi wakes up – the young man reaches to gently pet his head and ruffle his soft fur before standing up and opening his closet. Through the small parting of the sliding window something catches Takashi’s attention. Nyanko is half sure that it’s just another weak spirit wanting its name back and so he closes his eyes half-listening.

"Sensei…"

"…."

"Sensei…"

"Geez Natsume you’re such a whiny—-" Nyanko stops as he sees what Takashi is trying to show him – windows pushed wide apart to show him the soft snow flurrying outside. The firts of this season.

"It means that Christmas is coming, Sensei. Do you know what Christmas is?" Takashi turns his back on Nyanko to take in the peaceful scenery. It was a beautiful, quiet experience, it overwhelmed him and brought happy tears to his eyes.

"Of course I do! And you cry easily it’s troublesome." Nyanko said with fake impatience, glancing at Takashi time and again, now that he was perched on the window sill. 

"Do you know that you can make wishes for Christmas…" Takashi says.

"Wishes are for humans…only."

"Silly Sensei. Wishes are for everyone, even yokai. So you can make a wish too."

"Cut it out with that kidstuff or I will eat you." 

Nyanko wonders why he’s always confused even if he knows why he’s stayed this long with Natsume. He wonders how long he can use Reiko as an excuse. If she were around she would have beaten him to a pulp – his excellent yokai form nothwithstanding. 

Reiko will always be Reiko after all…

"Sensei, lets close the window now. I’m cold." 

Takashi smiles and picks Nyanko in a hug before sliding the windows closed. He puffs against Nyanko’s soft fur before setting him on the floor – proceeding to do what he originally woke up for, which was to change. It is this normalcy that gives Nyanko confidence that he has time — until he’s ready, until he’s out of excuses, until he can no longer deny what he’s been denying all this time – his eyes are closed as he listens to Takashi’s clothes rustle as he dresses. When Takashi is done and slides back under the covers, Nyanko pads close to lay down beside him.

"Sensei is always warm." He says honestly before closing his eyes and hands reaching out to hold his favorite lucky cat in the whole wide universe.

…and Takashi will always be Takashi.

 

As Takashi sleeps, Nyanko thinks back on what the young man said about wishes – and he knows this: If he ever, one day, with a smidgeon of desperation ever believed in wishes. He knows exactly what to wish for.


End file.
